Introspections

I'm definitely someone who is outgoing, loud and crazy but I also find that I'm stuck in my head a lot of the time. I over-think everything, I worry a lot and I find myself wondering about things more than I think the average person does. I'm fascinated by people...I probably schould have been some sort of psychologist...and I always find myself thinking about how other people feel or wondering what's going through their heads or just watching them to try to figure them out. Sometimes I like being a thinker like that but it's also made me a very anxious person. Over a month ago I went to my doctors and she was asking me some standard questions and she fell on the topic of anxiety. I knew I was anxious and maybe even a little OCD but after talking to my doctor I realized that I'm anxious a lot more than I thought I was, I just wasn't classifying it correctly. I also talked to her about the fact that I sometimes have panic attacks at night when I'm trying to sleep and my mind wanders to scary topics like death. It was nice to finally tell someone.

Today I'm going back to see her to talk about some possible reading I could do. Last time my doctor told me I may have some mild anxiety and OCD issues and that I could try reading some books about it, or see a therapist or even go on medication depending on what I felt was necessary or what I was comfortable with. At first I didn't want to do any of them but I feel like it's a good choice to start to educate myself with this. If I tried to stifle these feelings they may get worse. I'm happy with my decision to reach out and understand myself.

Basically I'm telling you this story a) to simply share with you and b) to remind everyone that things are not always as they appear. As of lately I've been trying to understand the people around me better. I think I make some quick explanations for why people are the way they are and it's important to try to see past what people show you and try to understand the motives behind how people act.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

And I'll leave you with that.

xoTaylor