Much Needed Best Friend Time + Introspections

Last night after Erika got off work at 10PM we trekked our way to Toronto to see the beautiful Shauna. She had just moved into a new apartment that day and we wanted to christen the place with a girls night. After spending way too much time getting onto the highway and lugging our stuff all around town, we finally got into her apartment at midnight. We immediately jumped into her bed and gossiped and giggled over wine until her neighbours upstairs stomped like crazy for us to be quiet. We really did christen that place I guess. After that we watched New Girl quietly until we all passed out. If you're wondering, three girls in one bed is not so awesome. I was in the middle and woke up in the middle of the night and went out into the living room. A sleeping bag on the floor near a nice cool window was much better than in that hot and squishy bed. I love my best friends but not that much.

Today we woke up, lazed around and then adventured out for lunch. We chose a direction to walk and then kept going until we found a restaurant that suited our tastes. We ended up going into a cafe where we ordered breakfast and giant cups of fruit and laughed way after our bills had come. Don't you just love when you love spending time with people so much that you just let hours pass by and forget about what's going on around you? It was wonderful. I seriously love these girls so much. We've been best friends for almost six years now and we are stuck in eachothers' lives whether we like it or not. We are decided on each other. It's very comforting.

Last night while in my wine haze lying in bed and listening to the cars pass by in the city below us I started having some very serious thoughts about my future. I feel like I'm so incredibly close to the next step in my life but it also seems like it's a world away. I have so many dreams I want to achieve and I'm just scared that I may not be able to do so. I want so badly to work in the news. I'll take newspaper, radio...anything just to get my foot in the door. I would really like to be a news reporter. Getting to intern two summers ago really set my heart on it. I love running around town and finding news, being the first to the scene, forgetting how much time has passed because everything moves so fast, being the first one to hear someone's story and then feeling the adrenaline as you're writing a story and you're live in twenty minutes. It's so exhilarating and it felt like something I was really passionate about and not at all like work. I loved it so much. I just hope I get the opportunity to pursue it. I'm just terrified that something will hold me back, like my qualifications or even just me. I want to live in Toronto...I think. I'm just feeling so indecisive. This is most definitely the most confusing time in my life. I really hope that a year from now I will have it all figured out and I can look back on this time and laugh. Until then I guess I'll just have to keep riding this incredibly emotional wave. I just don't understand how anyone can make such big decision in their lives without having heart attacks! My whole like feels like it is going to happen in about five minutes. I've been waiting for this moment for years and now that it's finally here..I'm choking. All I can do is push through and hope for the best. Everything will workout because it always does and as long as I have amazing people in my life like my family, my best friends, and my boyfriend then I think I will be okay.

To anyone who has gone through this I commend you and to anyone who is going through it...let's all hope for the best.

xoTaylor